


Escaping Doubt

by conceptstage



Series: Single Chapter Critical Role [23]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 03:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19123681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: "For the fix suggest, 32 with beau/Jester would be super fun pls and thank you, you are amazing and a brilliant writer and I love everything you’ve written 💙"#32: "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."





	Escaping Doubt

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” Beau stared at Jester’s sleeping face as she whispered the scariest words she’d ever uttered in her life.

Jester didn’t react, her eyes didn’t twitch under her eyelids, her breath didn’t falter. The tension in Beau’s body relaxed and she rolled over in the bed to lay on her back and stare at the ceiling. Saying it to Jester helped loosen the dark knot of fear that sat tight in her chest but it helped even more that Jester hadn’t heard it. She threw herself out of the bed and started pacing, bare, in the aisle between the beds. The second bed was pretty redundant at this point, it hadn’t been used in weeks but everytime she thought about suggesting they remove it to storage her throat closed up in fear. Having it felt like an escape route, not that she really needed to escape. Not from Jester.

She took a deep breath in through her nose and held it for a moment, trying to calm the frantic beating of her heart, before finally letting it out. She threw on her vestige over her naked body and tied it loosely, not really caring whether or not she was actually covered, and then stepped out onto the balcony. The cool wind that rustled her hair felt like a relief on her heated skin.

“Fuck,” she hissed. “Fuck, fuck.”

“Bad night?”

“MOTHERFU-” Beau cut her off, jumping around and stumbling into the railing of the balcony.

Yasha held up her hands placatingly, her face blank, and blinked at her. “Morning.” She was resting against the wall between the doors, her sword laid over her lap and her hair was pretty damp.

Beau sighed and ran a hand through her loose hair, leaning against the railing and trying to calm her furiously beating heart once more. “Morning. And, I- No, good night. Great night, actually. It’s just… old demons being dicks.”

“Demons?”

“Not literally.”

Yasha rolled her eyes and huffed. “Yes, I’m familiar with the metaphor. Which demons?”

Beau licked her lips nervously and scratched at her undercut as she moved to sit down on the cold stone. “Doubt.”

Yasha nodded, knowingly. “Doubt’s a bitch.”

“Doubt’s the worst kind of bitch because it convinces you that you’re the bitch. What a bitch.” They were quiet for a moment until Beau looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Why are you wet?”

Yasha shrugged. “Storm last night.” She was quiet again and let the sounds of the city waking up fill the silence. “The thing about doubt,” she said aftera few minutes. Beau looked up at her from where she was fiddling with the tie of her vestige. “Is that it convinces you that it’s worth listening to. It has to trick you into thinking it matters, because it doesn’t. It is hard to ignore because worthless things tend to be the loudest, but you have to be louder than it or you will never be happy.” She paused. “I don’t know, that doesn’t make much sense, does it?”

Beau gave her a tired smile and grunted as she got back to her feet. “Thanks, Yash. Enjoy your… I don’t know, communing?”

“Thank you.”

Beau walked into their room and Jester blinked over at her. “There you are. I woke up and you were-” she paused to yawn and reached out with grabby hands. “-gone.”

“Sorry. Just talking to Yasha.” She climbed back into bed and slipped between Jester’s arms. Jester pulled her close and squeezed her, humming happily. Beau couldn’t stop the please grin as her face was pressed against Jester’s collarbone. “Morning.”

“Shhh… If you don’t acknowledge it we can just go back to sleep.”

“Good point.” She closed her eyes and slipped her arm under Jester’s body to hold her close. The words hung on the tip of her lips once again and just when she was about to release them, Jester let out a soft snore. She sighed but smiled and kissed the side of Jester’s neck. She’d tell her when she could hear it someday, but for now she was content.


End file.
